My name is Suzanne Cannon.  I have lived with severe depression for half my life.

I am not always depressed.  I have had lengthy periods of wellness, for which I am indescribably grateful.

I love my family: my mother and sister; my three dogs; my one horse; and my one life partner, who is still with me, for reasons I can’t explain and will probably never understand, given what I have put him through – thanks to the depression.

I hope he continues to stay.

This blog is mainly for him – these are the things I cannot say to him, the things I have never told him about my day-to-day experiences with depression.

I can’t tell him because it hurts him, it makes him feel helpless, it makes him frustrated that he cannot fix it, fix me…that I cannot fix myself.

Maybe someday he will be able to read these entries quietly, to himself, and understand that it was just too hard for me to talk about in person.

Maybe he will understand why these were the things I never told him.

It would be good if what I write here helps him understand.

And if it also helps someone else in the world understand what it’s like to live with depression, if it helps someone else have a thimble’s worth of compassion for those that suffer, and the loved ones who suffer along with them, well…that would be good too.